11.12.2024

ICELAND

I cold-showered my way around the island, trying and failing to not be a zealot about it.

Can you get addicted to showers? *shrug* Probably.

But I don’t think I am. I think my body just knows how to keep me alive.

She demanded my acute attention in 2022, screaming at me to slow, to listen. To acknowledge how much she knows and to stop ignoring her needs and her wants.

To heal, I learned to heed her. She has since saved me again and again.

And in 2024 she’s requesting uiscefhuaraithe: “The feel of coldness only water brings.”

::

Entering cold water yanks you into “the now,” whatever that means.

And actually, this is exactly what that means: you cannot carry your anxiety, your stress, your cringey memories, or even your anticipatory joy into cold water and expect to keep a hold on them. You will set them down, and you will just…be cold. Now. This is The Now.

Cold water abruptly takes all your little narratives from you and says, “Sweetheart, you can have these back later, but you can also live without them, just for a bit.” Cold water hugs your frigid body like a steel trap: “I know it’s hard, hun, but if you surrender your cute façade, you get to be real.”

It seems cruel but remember—you consented to this. You took the plunge.

Uiscefhuaraithe.

I honestly can’t recommend it highly enough.

::

Every time I’m in cold water, I laugh. If I don’t laugh, I cry. Apparently, bodily uiscefhuaraithe—yeah, I can (kinda) help you with that, it’s pronounced ish-KOOR-heh, flip the r—bodily uiscefhuaraithe deals in extremes.

I don’t even want to subscribe to extremes, but they constructed my entire cultural heritage. I fear that extremism lives in my blood. Like any normal person might say sorry, pal, but obsessively scanning the metaphorical landscape for grey areas is...still not chill, and I know they're right but I just can't stop (!!!). I am perpetually pulled to the black and the white, ping-ponging in hopes that my average over time wears some kind of middle path.

Why do I even care? Moderation is not inherently moral, a moderate take does not guarantee I’ll be taken seriously, and “medium” excites no one. Maybe it’s just middle child syndrome.

Beautiful Iceland—mountainous and oceanic, volcanic and icy—does not court moderation. The island juxtaposes natural extremes, pushing them to their limits then placing them side by side. And particularly in the darker half of the year, Iceland pushes you to your own limits. The rougher the country and the more it demands, the more you find yourself rising to meet it.

But ay, there’s the rub. Moderate terrain seems more inviting, offering reasonable and clearly survivable challenges, whereas becoming immortal requires weathering outrageous circumstances. “The greats” throughout history embraced extremes as access points to The Now; then, they set up camp.

For the rest of us, fortunately, The Now keeps a 24-hour line open, accessible through somatic extremes.

::

After a very cold and very wet week, I come back home and jump right into a cold shower. I chase that unique water-cooled feeling. Uiscefhuaraithe guides me to my selfiest self, who remembers (again) that now is now and here is now and there is there and then is then.

With cold and heat specifically, the two extremes inform and mimic each other. Very cold fingers can feel weirdly warm, and as they warm back up, they tingle numbly as if still in the cold. Somehow, the most extreme cold and the most extreme heat register almost identically in our, well, extremities.

So my favorite part of experiencing The Now of a cold shower comes after I am out of the water and dry again, when my body sends pinpricks of heat across every inch of my skin. The warmth comforts me for hours, a physical reminder of having lived large and raw and real.

Though the cold is manufactured by an external source, that warmth is purely self-generated.

My wise body loves The Now. I'll embrace this extreme.

9.05.2024

Articles of Life 13

I rewrote the statements of faith which I memorized as a child so that they now reflect my beliefs as a 30-year-old adult. Each statement had a song to help with memorization, and I have written my statements to match the music of those original songs.


Here is my Article of Life 13:

I believe people are honest, true, kind, benevolent, virtuous, and that everyone is trying. Indeed, I might say that we all do the best we can with what's ours. We can love ourselves, we trust ourselves, we have inherently good selves, and we hope to be able to enlighten all selves. If there is anyone needing help, wanting rest, or otherwise in suffering: I seek after these folks.


Here is the original song and wording from the LDS church materials (starts at 28:54):

9.04.2024

Articles of Life 12

I rewrote the statements of faith which I memorized as a child so that they now reflect my beliefs as a 30-year-old adult. Each statement had a song to help with memorization, and I have written my statements to match the music of those original songs.


Here is my Article of Life 12:

I believe in chosen family but must admit that there's something to blood and water, usually; don't give up on your clan.


Here is the original song and wording from the LDS church materials (starts at 27:24):

9.03.2024

Articles of Life 11

I rewrote the statements of faith which I memorized as a child so that they now reflect my beliefs as a 30-year-old adult. Each statement had a song to help with memorization, and I have written my statements to match the music of those original songs.


Here is my Article of Life 11:

I claim the privilege of wearing whatever I want according to the dictates of the circumstances, and allow you, too, the same privilege: you can wear whatever the hell you want!


Here is the original song and wording from the LDS church materials (starts at 24:18):

9.02.2024

Articles of Life 10

I rewrote the statements of faith which I memorized as a child so that they now reflect my beliefs as a 30-year-old adult. Each statement had a song to help with memorization, and I have written my statements to match the music of those original songs.


Here is my Article of Life 10:

I believe in the literal breaking down of systems and in the need for building better ones. In working together as a family, worldwide and local. In intersectionality! We'll need to work compassionately and communally if we want Earth to be renewed and receive its paradisiacal glory.


Here is the original song and wording from the LDS church materials (starts at 20:36):

9.01.2024

Articles of Life 9

I rewrote the statements of faith which I memorized as a child so that they now reflect my beliefs as a 30-year-old adult. Each statement had a song to help with memorization, and I have written my statements to match the music of those original songs.


Here is my Article of Life 9:

I believe most of what science reveals, most of what it will reveal, and some of what it already has revealed; it ain't much but it's what we've got for making sense of God's green earth.


Here is the original song and wording from the LDS church materials (starts at 18:13):

8.31.2024

Articles of Life 8

I rewrote the statements of faith which I memorized as a child so that they now reflect my beliefs as a 30-year-old adult. Each statement had a song to help with memorization, and I have written my statements to match the music of those original songs.


Here is my Article of Life 8:

I believe that scripture is translated with bias, and that's just how everything's written. It doesn't mean it's wrong; it doesn't mean it's right. It means it's not the word of God.


Here is the original song and wording from the LDS church materials (starts at 15:37):