6.21.2024

Done: A Conversation Guidebook


“So, are you guys done, then?”
Done with what?
Well-done, like a steak?
Oh, like buns in the oven?
Do, doing, did, done.
Doing “it”
Done with “it”
Done with sex, done with love?
Done with babies! Gotcha.
Oh, done with growing our family?
Done with the neverending, irreversible act of creating life--
Done with that?
My period is back.
I’d like to be done, but he thinks he wants one more.
Thinks that means we want one more.
We might try again.
We have talked about being done and
I do feel pretty done with the conversation.
I don’t know. Maybe we’re done.
Have we done our job?
Have we met the minimum standard of care?
The minimum number of kids?
Who is counting this?
We’re done.
Well, maybe God will send us one more.
Maybe we’ll be surprised.
But yeah, we’re done.
Why do you care if we’re done?
Sorry, yeah, you’re right, it’s always hard to tell if you should be done or not.
I never know when others are done.
How do we measure up?
Are they done?
Okay. But is she done?
We’ve checked the boxes, completed the list.
All that’s left is to, well, raise them.
To give every moment of my life, my feelings
My mental and emotional capacity.
No, right, not his mental and emotional capacity.
Just some of it.
See, he still has to work every day
So he’s not done.
Not in the same way.
Right but we’re done.
Yeah, I’m done.

2 comments:

  1. This is my roman empire. We are done. And though there are a million reasons why, really it's because I choose to be done. If I was "the man" it likely wouldn't be the same decision. But I'm not and the weight of "it"--growing and having and raising the kids--is on me so it is the decision. Feel really solid and settled in that decision. Have for years. And yet, I still have conversations like this one in my head every day. Still let my grandma think the book's not closed because, only two??! Let my mom say things like, "If you have one more..." even though I've made it clear we're done. Anyway. Sorry I made it about me. Your poem resonates with so many people I would guess, in all different types of situations. Roman empire!

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    Replies
    1. Roman empire! I get that. And it's about you and me and her and all of us, so you claim that. And I'll be singing Taylor's "The Man" for the rest of the night over here!!

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