Journal entry: 16 March 2016

Today is the day before the last day of the term. It was also the cutoff date for all late work and extra credit in my classes because I like to live on the edge and not give myself a week's buffer period (don't worry, I'm all caught up on grading! AND PROUD OF IT). I tell my students, "If you come on St. Patrick's Day with your extra credit, I might just say that I am so sorry that you have to be you in that moment, and I will send you away." This is because I lack compassion in a severe way on the last day of the term, and I already know that about myself.

And speaking of lacking compassion: I had to fight my instinct to heavy-sigh for about 10 minutes straight while I spoke with a mother of one student on the phone today. She called at about 4:00 PM, right when I was packing up to leave, and led with, "I know I should have talked to you earlier about this..." In a nutshell, her son has a 9% (solid F) right now because he has come to class approximately four times during this entire term, and it's kind of hard to stay caught up that way. In answer to her complaint that he and I must have gotten off on the wrong foot this term, I really wanted to say that "no, we are NOW getting off on the wrong foot" because I had no problems with this student until this desperate phone call. Like, what did she expect me to do? Why bother calling?? In what world would this phone call help either one of us feel better about our lives???

I need to take up meditation.

Or I can just let the frustration fuel my still-new and still-mild running habit. I motivated myself to move quickly today by running while our dinner baked for 15 minutes. I threw it in the oven, took a couple minutes to change and choose a podcast, and took the remaining 11 to run a mile. It's a slow mile, but it's a full mile! Which is basically all I ask of myself during end-of-term. I got back home just in time to ask Joseph to get that hot pizza out of that hot oven for me because running made me hot.

I fueled another run last week with some deep and abiding frustration, but unfortunately that story is not blog-appropriate. I just want to remember that it happened and that I have never run harder and that it was a healthier way to deal with my distress than past me might have chosen.

Happier news! Sister missionary Tara returned home from Taiwan this weekend, and we partied hardy. We intend to continue partying hardy next Monday, when Joseph and I finally host people at our new house. I am scared? A little? Okay yes.

There was something else....ah yes! I have a day off this week! Nebo School District (is that really a proper noun?) always tries to give a day off right at the end of term, and I appreciate it more than I appreciate most things. This week, I am taking my Friday off to go to both the doctor and the dentist. Might not be the funnest, but it is about as productive as possible, so that will feel good. 

If this sounds like it's through the lens of stress, it just might be. I'll be fine after tomorrow. Wish me some St. Patty's Day luck to make it through!