*AWKWARD ALERT*
Exhibit A:
Date: 22 July 2009
Description: This is me, making banana ice cream on Gram's porch, in sweats and a t-shirt I didn't actually tie correctly. With black and white plaid wedges into which I have neatly tucked my sweats. And a hot pink watch.
Awkward factor: Hello, everyone's first profile pic is awkward. Solid 10.
Reason it had to go: That face, mostly.
Exhibit B:
Date: 10 August 2009
Description: Mariah and I had a lovely time at our ward youth conference smashing our faces together. This picture is evidence of my NOT wanting to slide down that natural waterfall and therefore doing everything to avoid the peer pressure to do so. Also, apparently I wore earrings for the activity?
Awkward factor: 8 for overcropping. Rookie mistake.
Reason it had to go: I had a new picture from a cooler activity with better bragging rights.
Exhibit C:
Date: 18 August 2009
Description: Won a radio contest which gave me free tickets to an outdoor concert in SLC. Took Jenna with me, enjoyed listening to The Fray, whose album I had definitely purchased and learned before going. Posted this for bragging rights.
Awkward factor: 6ish because cool event but awful picture.
Reason it had to go: Couldn't handle the blur.
Description: This is me, making banana ice cream on Gram's porch, in sweats and a t-shirt I didn't actually tie correctly. With black and white plaid wedges into which I have neatly tucked my sweats. And a hot pink watch.
Awkward factor: Hello, everyone's first profile pic is awkward. Solid 10.
Reason it had to go: That face, mostly.
Exhibit B:
Date: 10 August 2009
Description: Mariah and I had a lovely time at our ward youth conference smashing our faces together. This picture is evidence of my NOT wanting to slide down that natural waterfall and therefore doing everything to avoid the peer pressure to do so. Also, apparently I wore earrings for the activity?
Awkward factor: 8 for overcropping. Rookie mistake.
Reason it had to go: I had a new picture from a cooler activity with better bragging rights.
Exhibit C:
Date: 18 August 2009
Description: Won a radio contest which gave me free tickets to an outdoor concert in SLC. Took Jenna with me, enjoyed listening to The Fray, whose album I had definitely purchased and learned before going. Posted this for bragging rights.
Awkward factor: 6ish because cool event but awful picture.
Reason it had to go: Couldn't handle the blur.
Exhibit D:
Date: 26 August 2009
Description: Another youth conference picture. Here's a secret--there are at least 3 other girls on the other side of that cute Heather girl. She made it because we were the only two actually looking at my camera, I think. Plus because I love Heather. Duh.
Awkward factor: Overcropped again! Curses. 8.
Reason it had to go: Too much sweat, I think.
Description: Another youth conference picture. Here's a secret--there are at least 3 other girls on the other side of that cute Heather girl. She made it because we were the only two actually looking at my camera, I think. Plus because I love Heather. Duh.
Awkward factor: Overcropped again! Curses. 8.
Reason it had to go: Too much sweat, I think.
Exhibit E:
Date: 13 September 2009
Description: Ah, the model shot. Neon grass in the background, and a whole lotta tree bark. Bob hair which I would go back to if I didn't now think it made my head look like a Christmas ornament. Also, I loved that jacket.
Awkward factor: 9 for attempting to model.
Reason it had to go: The angle of my head. And the grass.
Description: Ah, the model shot. Neon grass in the background, and a whole lotta tree bark. Bob hair which I would go back to if I didn't now think it made my head look like a Christmas ornament. Also, I loved that jacket.
Awkward factor: 9 for attempting to model.
Reason it had to go: The angle of my head. And the grass.
Exhibit F:
Date: 11 October 2009
Description: YES this is my first date. I actually think this is pretty cute because he dipped me and then I dipped him, except we weren't in love, so whatever. But look at my forearm! Also, this was one of the first times in my life that I felt skinny because I fit into one of Bri's dresses and that was not anything I ever expected to see happen. So, profile pic.
Awkward factor: I actually feel that it's minimal. 3?
Reason it had to go: Probably because either he used it and we matched (unlikely), or I just wanted another dance pic in my profile folder.
Description: YES this is my first date. I actually think this is pretty cute because he dipped me and then I dipped him, except we weren't in love, so whatever. But look at my forearm! Also, this was one of the first times in my life that I felt skinny because I fit into one of Bri's dresses and that was not anything I ever expected to see happen. So, profile pic.
Awkward factor: I actually feel that it's minimal. 3?
Reason it had to go: Probably because either he used it and we matched (unlikely), or I just wanted another dance pic in my profile folder.
Exhibit G:
Date: 11 October 2009
Description: Did I mention I got the swine flu from this date? So that explains why there are two pictures! Because I had nothing better to do for my week of quarantine. Anyways, this one is definitely weirder than the last one for lots of reasons.
Awkward factor: Yeah this jumps up to 7 or 8.
Reason it had to go: The dance was suddenly a month behind us and I still had a dance profile pic...
Description: Did I mention I got the swine flu from this date? So that explains why there are two pictures! Because I had nothing better to do for my week of quarantine. Anyways, this one is definitely weirder than the last one for lots of reasons.
Awkward factor: Yeah this jumps up to 7 or 8.
Reason it had to go: The dance was suddenly a month behind us and I still had a dance profile pic...
Exhibit H:
Date: 1 November 2009
Description: Yikes to everything. Chose this because I was in love with my freckles. What freckles, you say? I dunno. While we're nice and close, can I just say that I have never done anything to my eyebrows and I plan to leave it that way until I die? And that I still wear just as much make-up every day as I'm wearing in this pic (which would be solely mascara). Word. I guess.
Awkward factor: FAR TOO CLOSE, so 10. But the little thumbnail square looked cute, so 9.
Reason it had to go: Needn't be explained.
Description: Yikes to everything. Chose this because I was in love with my freckles. What freckles, you say? I dunno. While we're nice and close, can I just say that I have never done anything to my eyebrows and I plan to leave it that way until I die? And that I still wear just as much make-up every day as I'm wearing in this pic (which would be solely mascara). Word. I guess.
Awkward factor: FAR TOO CLOSE, so 10. But the little thumbnail square looked cute, so 9.
Reason it had to go: Needn't be explained.
Exhibit I:
Date: 3 January 2010
Description: Cool mirror at IKEA, needed a pic. Wearing my map shoes and my yellow purse and that bomber jacket which I still wear all the time and love to pieces. Underneath is my Fray shirt from the concert mentioned earlier. Irony.
Awkward factor: Meh, how bout a 5?
Reason it had to go: No clue.
Description: Cool mirror at IKEA, needed a pic. Wearing my map shoes and my yellow purse and that bomber jacket which I still wear all the time and love to pieces. Underneath is my Fray shirt from the concert mentioned earlier. Irony.
Awkward factor: Meh, how bout a 5?
Reason it had to go: No clue.
Exhibit J:
Date: 17 January 2010
Description: Hey look, a literal profile! Hah! This is from one legit modeling stint because my friend needed a picture to sketch for a final project in her art class. Or something? She dressed me up as a pixie on a Friday night and we took pics.
Awkward factor: 7 because I stink at the serious face thing.
Reason it had to go: Didn't like my lipstick. I know it's ridiculous.
Description: Hey look, a literal profile! Hah! This is from one legit modeling stint because my friend needed a picture to sketch for a final project in her art class. Or something? She dressed me up as a pixie on a Friday night and we took pics.
Awkward factor: 7 because I stink at the serious face thing.
Reason it had to go: Didn't like my lipstick. I know it's ridiculous.
Exhibit K:
Date: 24 January 2010
Description: Still pixie status. CHECK OUT MY HAIR. It was super cool that night. I also happened to genuinely like this attempt at a mischievous look. It was described as "HOTT" by a friend (no worries, it was a girl friend not a boy friend), so I'm not the only one, ok??
Awkward factor: Maybe a 3 or 4. The 4 would be for trying to be too cool.
Reason it had to go: Got sick of it, probably.
Exhibit L:
Date: 9 May 2010
Description: Taken on an important date night wherein a certain boy whom I liked a lot told me he liked me too. Well, he said it first. You know what I mean. Anyways, I really just liked my hair a lot and felt the need to take a picture. Thanks be to Carolyn for sharing her skills on such an important occasion.
Awkward factor: Well I definitely shouldn't have gone with that head tilt. 5.
Reason it had to go: Too yellow, awful lighting.
Exhibit M (only like 5 more!):
Date: 18 July 2010
Description: Hahahaha I love this picture forever and ever. I couldn't make that face again if I tried (and I've tried). Plus, my hair was at a fun length, and I was on a fun vacation, and we were in a really awesome thrift store full of junk that hipsters wouldn't even buy. Hipsters didn't even exist yet! So really, it was just pure junk.
Awkward factor: 0. [Hilarity factor: 10.]
Reason it had to go: Ugh, senior pictures came along and everyone was changing theirs to fancy portraits. I never should have changed mine cuz this is still my favorite.
Exhibit N:
Date: 24 November 2010
Description: First, I'd like to thank my sister Jenna for taking my picture against a wall that so nicely complimented my eyes. Then I'd also like to thank Gold's Gym for providing that wall. True story. This was my picture for, like, everything important in senior year. I suppose I like it, but sometimes I wish we would have done more to get a more legit senior photo shoot and therefore more options. But then most of the time I don't care because this more than sufficed. Love that dress, too.
Awkward factor: Maybe a 2? I dunno, I pretty much look the same now so I can't say I look awkward, duh.
Reason it had to go: Too profesh. Needed something a little more fun.
Exhibit O:
Date: 7 February 2011
Description: I enjoy this picture still. I still wear almost all of what I'm wearing (new watch, though), and my hair looked good that day, and it's candid! And I'm on a stool in a field, so I guess I did get senior photos after all. Hey family, remember how we hauled a couch and two stools up the mountain for these pictures? Good times, good times...
Awkward factor: 4 for my hand placement and schlumping (not sitting up straight)
Reason it had to go: The next photo was a memorial photo and therefore more important.
Exhibit P:
Date: 20 February 2011
Description: Gram and me. I love this picture and I love her. Posted this on the day she passed away because I couldn't bear admitting she was gone in words but I also couldn't bear letting her pass without public acknowledgement of her hero status in my life. Sure miss my Grammie.
Awkward factor: Solid ZERO. We're adorable.
Reason it had to go: Joe left 4 months later and was my new person to miss.
Exhibit Q:
Date: 22 June 2011
Description: Posted on the day he left, expected to remain until he returns. That boy hates being in pictures, so this is one of very few decent ones of just us two. There's pretty much nothing about it that I don't like except that date stamp. Hey look, he's wearing that jacket of Brigham's that he used to steal all the time and my hair's decently long! Our most endearing traits, for sure.
Awkward factor: Also zero.
Reason it has yet to go: Well, he has yet to come home. But here's a confession: everyone knows that a boy in your profile pic who is not a brother is likely a love interest and that's why I haven't changed my pic in a year and a half. It's a statement, you know? But sometimes I want to change it just because my hair is way longer now and it feels stagnant to leave something alone for so long and maybe I don't need to make the same statement I did right after he left. Blog readers, WHAT DO I DO?? (I know this is not a big enough deal to ask opinions, but give them anyway.)
Whew! That was exhausting.
Two wrap-up thoughts:
1) I am really really glad that it landed on Exhibit Q because that's totally a quote from Pee Wee Herman something-or-other, which I haven't seen in years and don't expect to ever watch again, but I remember that part was funny when I watched it the first time! Does anyone know what I'm talking about?
2) If you made it to the end of this, I applaud you. Cuz I almost didn't make it myself, and it was me talking about me the whole time, which I usually find utterly fascinating (JOKE). In any case, I now invite you to post something similar because, hello, we all need to face the fact that our profile pics define us in this life (another joke, duh). But really though, I think it'd be hilarious if this became "a thing," so do it and let me know!! Pleeeeaaaasse? Thanks, you're the best.
And those are my profile pics.
The end.
Description: Still pixie status. CHECK OUT MY HAIR. It was super cool that night. I also happened to genuinely like this attempt at a mischievous look. It was described as "HOTT" by a friend (no worries, it was a girl friend not a boy friend), so I'm not the only one, ok??
Awkward factor: Maybe a 3 or 4. The 4 would be for trying to be too cool.
Reason it had to go: Got sick of it, probably.
Exhibit L:
Date: 9 May 2010
Description: Taken on an important date night wherein a certain boy whom I liked a lot told me he liked me too. Well, he said it first. You know what I mean. Anyways, I really just liked my hair a lot and felt the need to take a picture. Thanks be to Carolyn for sharing her skills on such an important occasion.
Awkward factor: Well I definitely shouldn't have gone with that head tilt. 5.
Reason it had to go: Too yellow, awful lighting.
Exhibit M (only like 5 more!):
Date: 18 July 2010
Description: Hahahaha I love this picture forever and ever. I couldn't make that face again if I tried (and I've tried). Plus, my hair was at a fun length, and I was on a fun vacation, and we were in a really awesome thrift store full of junk that hipsters wouldn't even buy. Hipsters didn't even exist yet! So really, it was just pure junk.
Awkward factor: 0. [Hilarity factor: 10.]
Reason it had to go: Ugh, senior pictures came along and everyone was changing theirs to fancy portraits. I never should have changed mine cuz this is still my favorite.
Exhibit N:
Date: 24 November 2010
Description: First, I'd like to thank my sister Jenna for taking my picture against a wall that so nicely complimented my eyes. Then I'd also like to thank Gold's Gym for providing that wall. True story. This was my picture for, like, everything important in senior year. I suppose I like it, but sometimes I wish we would have done more to get a more legit senior photo shoot and therefore more options. But then most of the time I don't care because this more than sufficed. Love that dress, too.
Awkward factor: Maybe a 2? I dunno, I pretty much look the same now so I can't say I look awkward, duh.
Reason it had to go: Too profesh. Needed something a little more fun.
Exhibit O:
Date: 7 February 2011
Description: I enjoy this picture still. I still wear almost all of what I'm wearing (new watch, though), and my hair looked good that day, and it's candid! And I'm on a stool in a field, so I guess I did get senior photos after all. Hey family, remember how we hauled a couch and two stools up the mountain for these pictures? Good times, good times...
Awkward factor: 4 for my hand placement and schlumping (not sitting up straight)
Reason it had to go: The next photo was a memorial photo and therefore more important.
Exhibit P:
Date: 20 February 2011
Description: Gram and me. I love this picture and I love her. Posted this on the day she passed away because I couldn't bear admitting she was gone in words but I also couldn't bear letting her pass without public acknowledgement of her hero status in my life. Sure miss my Grammie.
Awkward factor: Solid ZERO. We're adorable.
Reason it had to go: Joe left 4 months later and was my new person to miss.
Exhibit Q:
Date: 22 June 2011
Description: Posted on the day he left, expected to remain until he returns. That boy hates being in pictures, so this is one of very few decent ones of just us two. There's pretty much nothing about it that I don't like except that date stamp. Hey look, he's wearing that jacket of Brigham's that he used to steal all the time and my hair's decently long! Our most endearing traits, for sure.
Awkward factor: Also zero.
Reason it has yet to go: Well, he has yet to come home. But here's a confession: everyone knows that a boy in your profile pic who is not a brother is likely a love interest and that's why I haven't changed my pic in a year and a half. It's a statement, you know? But sometimes I want to change it just because my hair is way longer now and it feels stagnant to leave something alone for so long and maybe I don't need to make the same statement I did right after he left. Blog readers, WHAT DO I DO?? (I know this is not a big enough deal to ask opinions, but give them anyway.)
Whew! That was exhausting.
Two wrap-up thoughts:
1) I am really really glad that it landed on Exhibit Q because that's totally a quote from Pee Wee Herman something-or-other, which I haven't seen in years and don't expect to ever watch again, but I remember that part was funny when I watched it the first time! Does anyone know what I'm talking about?
2) If you made it to the end of this, I applaud you. Cuz I almost didn't make it myself, and it was me talking about me the whole time, which I usually find utterly fascinating (JOKE). In any case, I now invite you to post something similar because, hello, we all need to face the fact that our profile pics define us in this life (another joke, duh). But really though, I think it'd be hilarious if this became "a thing," so do it and let me know!! Pleeeeaaaasse? Thanks, you're the best.
And those are my profile pics.
The end.
