Jiddu Krishnamurti
If our society is sick, its illness is comparison and its symptoms are chronic jealousy, excessive white lies, severe dependency on social media, and overall distorted self-perceptions.
I see these symptoms in nearly everyone I know, including me. Chronic jealousy for what others have--perfect marriages, homes, families. Excessive white lies assuring each of us that everyone has all of those great things all of the time. Dependency on social media to check up on everyone else (and to check in with one's own story). And distorted self-perceptions? Well, they're a pretty natural result of those first three issues, especially if you throw in celebrity news and pop culture.
How could anyone be "well adjusted" to such a society? More specifically, why do so many of us succumb to the illness of comparison? I guess I could be the only one who feels surely diagnosed with this illness, but based on what I read from other bloggers, it's more of an epidemic. I'm not sure that we recognize it when it hits us. Perhaps we even desire to be well adjusted, to fit in or keep up or whatever else is required to not feel separated from the group. Society may hold high demands on its participants, but avoiding society must be far, far worse than meeting those demands...right...?
But do we need that "well adjusted" feeling enough to put our happiness on the line? Comparisons very rarely (dare I say never?) lead to happiness. Two outcomes: either you are worse than your competition, or you have managed to beat them at the game. If you are worse, you're bound to feel awful. If you have won, then you have likely made someone else feel awful. No matter who takes which role, someone always has to lose. I don't particularly want to feel well adjusted to losing situations. Call me an idealist, but I prefer the win-win mindset.
I wish I had immunity to society's illnesses, but I am, in many ways, a product of society. I have been steeped in comparisons for much of my life (hello, public school system), and despite winning more than my fair share of silent competitions, I still hate the game. I've seen the effects turn into much more severe--perhaps more diagnosable--illnesses, and it's not pretty. There is no health to be found in being "well adjusted" to this society.
Let us find our own measures of health, ones which don't require society's input quite so much.
[I mentioned in an earlier blog post that I'm working publicly through some thoughts on this topic. In my quest for immunity (am I carrying the analogy too far yet?), I'm trying to retrace the steps I've taken in the last while so that I can have a record of where I started and where I went from there. This means that there's most angst in this post than I actually feel toward this topic on 3 June 2014. But I felt this angst at one point, so here it is.]
I see these symptoms in nearly everyone I know, including me. Chronic jealousy for what others have--perfect marriages, homes, families. Excessive white lies assuring each of us that everyone has all of those great things all of the time. Dependency on social media to check up on everyone else (and to check in with one's own story). And distorted self-perceptions? Well, they're a pretty natural result of those first three issues, especially if you throw in celebrity news and pop culture.
How could anyone be "well adjusted" to such a society? More specifically, why do so many of us succumb to the illness of comparison? I guess I could be the only one who feels surely diagnosed with this illness, but based on what I read from other bloggers, it's more of an epidemic. I'm not sure that we recognize it when it hits us. Perhaps we even desire to be well adjusted, to fit in or keep up or whatever else is required to not feel separated from the group. Society may hold high demands on its participants, but avoiding society must be far, far worse than meeting those demands...right...?
But do we need that "well adjusted" feeling enough to put our happiness on the line? Comparisons very rarely (dare I say never?) lead to happiness. Two outcomes: either you are worse than your competition, or you have managed to beat them at the game. If you are worse, you're bound to feel awful. If you have won, then you have likely made someone else feel awful. No matter who takes which role, someone always has to lose. I don't particularly want to feel well adjusted to losing situations. Call me an idealist, but I prefer the win-win mindset.
I wish I had immunity to society's illnesses, but I am, in many ways, a product of society. I have been steeped in comparisons for much of my life (hello, public school system), and despite winning more than my fair share of silent competitions, I still hate the game. I've seen the effects turn into much more severe--perhaps more diagnosable--illnesses, and it's not pretty. There is no health to be found in being "well adjusted" to this society.
Let us find our own measures of health, ones which don't require society's input quite so much.
[I mentioned in an earlier blog post that I'm working publicly through some thoughts on this topic. In my quest for immunity (am I carrying the analogy too far yet?), I'm trying to retrace the steps I've taken in the last while so that I can have a record of where I started and where I went from there. This means that there's most angst in this post than I actually feel toward this topic on 3 June 2014. But I felt this angst at one point, so here it is.]
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