"Whatever you are, be a good one."
--Abraham Lincoln--
I read this once in a quote book found on our family bookshelf. It was under the category of "Wisdom." Let's discuss this wisdom for a moment, yes?
I've always been a perfectionist of the self (then again, who isn't?). I enjoy straight lines and centered things as much as the next self-proclaimed OCD-sufferer, but I find them much more satisfying if I'm the straightener or the centerer (which I don't think are actually valid nouns). This started clear back in kindergarten. Since my first days of school, I wanted teacher comments, smiley face stickers, and gold stars in quantities large enough to paper the walls of my room. Nothing felt better to me during my early years of schooling than to see a big "100%" at the top of the test with my name on it. Can you say "over-achiever?" I know I'm over-the-top about this; so sue me.
Enter: junior high. When I read this quote, I was stuck in the very impressionable time of life called the "tween" years. I was just beginning to discover who I could become, and naturally, I fell in love with and memorized Abe's words without trying. (I guess it is only seven words long, so that's no feat to warrant bragging...)
Since that day, I've thought about it many times automatically, as such is the way with brief and easily-recalled bits of memory. It came to me when I felt I had mastered a difficult piano piece, or when I simply didn't want to practice that last 30 minutes. It came to me when I aced a math test, or when I procrastinated studying for one. It came to me when I listened to my parents' advice, or when I knew I'd been disobedient. Are you seeing the pattern? Essentially, it came to me either when I did my best, or when I refused to do my best. It became my undeclared motto.
Lately, I've wanted nothing more than a phenomenally distinguished blog. Somewhere inside me thinks that this is code for "has hundreds of followers and/or comments."* I know it's not my current reality, nor is this reality likely to occur anytime soon (if ever), yet I long for it still. However, it poses a problem: my ability to succeed in this endeavor depends more on the opinions/decisions of others than it ever has before. For the first time, Abe's little quote bites. I'm a blogger but, by my own standards, I'm not a good one, and I simply don't know how to fix the problem.
I guess that's why they say not to compare yourself to others. I mean, come on: it's utter vanity to want nothing more than mere blog-popularity. What mark of success is it really to say that others like what I do, if I can't say that I like what I do? Clearly, I need to sort out my priorities. I'm sure if I just keep trying, I'll find the satisfaction which eludes me right now. If I'm completely honest with myself, I know that I do enjoy my own blogging, and that's what matters most. I just have to take that to heart already (hint, hint, self).
I think Abe must have been on to something when he left the world with his wise words. They are open to interpretation not only from person to person, but also from one aspect to another within one person's life. I consider myself a decently good daughter, sister, pianist, student, etc... just not blogger. But when I consider what Abe probably meant, I realize that he simply encouraged excellence and self-worth. These, I can strive for, and to heck with everyone else's opinions!
"Whatever you are, be a good one." Thanks for the motto, Abe. Cheers.
*This is not a desperate cry for more comments or more followers (although I wouldn't mind either one, of course). It is merely one aspect of blog success which I consider from time to time. Promise.