I'm in a serious mood tonight. It's not a bad serious, just a thoughtful one.
This morning I had a devil of a time getting out of the house on time. There were a few unannounced changes in schedule, and I wasn't exactly the most patient of sisters. Then, because I left later than I wanted to, I found myself utterly stuck in the morning rush hour. I hate traffic, and this was a worst-case scenario. However, as I passed Main Street, there was a sudden change in the traffic light, and it threw me off. In looking around to see the reason I'd barely managed to make it through a green light, I saw/heard an ambulance and fire truck barreling my way. They passed and continued on their way, but it got me thinking.
A few weeks ago, on a similar drive to BYU (minus all the traffic), I passed the flashing lights of an ambulance and fire truck. As I took a glance at the house where they were parked, I saw two paramedics helping an old, old lady down the front step to a waiting stretcher. Without giving it much thought, I'd been searching the radio for a good song, and right at that moment I happened to land on "If Today Was Your Last Day" by Nickelback (click to listen). The combination of witnessing that critical moment and listening to that song hit me hard and fast. I might have shed a few tears.
Today's ambulance run-in brought me right back to that drive, and suddenly I didn't care about traffic so much anymore. Usually I just want to get from Point A to Point B as quickly as possible; delays of any variety annoy me. Today was more like, "To heck with A and B. What new experience can I have on the way?" Nothing on the drive really stuck out to me after that (naturally), but it did change my mindset for the day.
When I got home from school, I learned that an elderly lady in my neighborhood had passed away this morning. Talk about adding fuel to the fire of my thoughts. Here's where they've headed since:
If today had been my last day, how would I have spent it? Who really knows? It wasn't my last day, so I didn't treat it as such. However, chances are slim that I'll have the privilege of knowing my last day, especially if it arrives sometime before another 60 years have passed, so should I treat every day as if it could be my last? It's the classic carpe diem debate: better to truly seize the day now without regrets, or to to spend today in planning for a better tomorrow?
I'm not the kind of person to give up everything I have today "just in case," nor am I much of a carpe diem sort of girl. I plan everything further than it should be planned, and I worry when things don't work out. But I'd sure like to eliminate some of those unnecessary worries. Example: traffic is poop, but I don't have to fret over it. Looking presentable is nice, but looking incredible is unnecessary. Homework must be done, but not at the expense of my relationships with family and friends. New priorities, new freedom. Sounds kinda nice, right?
Feel free to join me, if you feel so inclined. Maybe we can start a new movement giving out free jackets and money or something. :)
*Note: I wrote this yesterday. Not to say that I now feel differently, just that "today" doesn't really mean today, so don't get confused.
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