Places

Here are the places I've been today. I'll warn you, it's a lot.

   :: my classroom
   :: the grocery store
   :: another grocery store
   :: my backyard
   :: my kitchen
   :: my bed
   :: in the sky
   :: contentedness
   :: laziness
   :: my laptop
   :: the shower
   :: another grocery store
   :: the pharmacy (within the grocery store)
   :: my virtual classroom
   :: patriotism
   :: acute stress
   :: the school
   :: the other school
   :: my childhood wagon
   :: optimism
   :: empowerment
   :: the studio
   :: on the road
   :: online
   :: past the liquor store with the most beautiful redbuds
   :: on my porch
   :: at the window
   :: frustration
   :: conversation
   :: in Brooks' room
   :: in my book
   :: in my purse
   :: home

It was a pretty good day.

Practiced Exam P

Tonight I opted to take a practice actuary exam instead of blogging. It was a good life choice. 

20/31!

Which is within range of passing, but by no means a guarantee that I'm ready. I'll keep working.

18 months old!

This happened a few days ago, and we didn't do much to celebrate it, but I just want to capture 18 month Brooks here.

Loves treats. Asks for treats every day. I do not blame him, and I don't really regret breaking the "no sugar before 2 years" recommendation either. At least we do pretty well on screen time!

Oooooohh wait I forgot, he asks to video call a random member of my family (most often Nana) at least every hour of the day. We really did well with screens before quarantine, but now he prob gets at least 30 minutes a day of watching videos of himself (plus a video call). And he loves it.

Loves bath night ("BUAH BUAH!"). Has always loved bath time, but it's especially fun lately since I usually let him play in the running water out of the tap for a minute at the end. Also, we've been using Johnson's baby wash lately cuz I missed that particular baby smell and bought a little bottle of it. Now he always smells good the morning after bath night.

But that yummy head smell only lasts so long cuz OMG, we spend so much time outside. If I take him outside and lay out a blanket and bring a book, I can get a solid hour of reading and only be interrupted a few times. And then we play together for another hour. And then I spend 30 minutes trying to convince him we should go inside. And then inevitably a train passes so we just go on a walk to see the train instead. Sigh. I need to buy more sunscreen.

My childhood wagon! He loves it and hangs on tight when riding. We take the wagon over to the school every now and then for free lunch. All the ladies fawn over him and he doesn't understand why they love him. Joseph tells him, "That's what happens when you're one of the beautiful ones."

Snuggles like it's his job. Anytime, anyplace, anything remotely soft or squishy. 

Has ideas. This is probably my favorite thing about this stage (and also, I recognize, the most dangerous haha). He just comes up with somethin and then makes it happen! "I wanna wear this thing on my arm." "What if I climb into this tiny spot?" "How far can I take this trowel of dirt?" "Do you think we could just talk about dogs for a second before I have to go to sleep?" He also smiles for the camera.

Last one: gets real happy about corners. I know every parent finds their child to be a delight on some level, but man this kid is PURE delight. Almost every day. Almost all the time. I fully anticipate our next child being a pure hellian because we've been so lucky to have the world's easiest first child. Let's hope the next 18 months prove to be as fun as the first 18!

Sauerkraut: An addition

....to my post about conspiracy theories.

There was one thing the woman said that I agreed with. In her whole long video and her whole long blog post, I found many entertaining things at which to raise my eyebrows, but at the very end, I found myself agreeing with this statement:

"The truth has a feeling to it."

And my brain keeps going back to that since I did my digging around. 

The truth does have a feeling to it. I have felt that feeling in many arenas of my life. I have felt the absence of that feeling in certain circumstances as well. And I have felt the need to search for that feeling increasingly since knowing I'm in a mixed-faith marriage. In fact, my highest priority goal in 2020 is a quest for precisely that feeling.

So did I feel that feeling while I sifted through this woman's information? Not once. I was in part using the experience as a self-taught but deliberate course in both "seeing the other side" and "employing critical thinking." I took a whole week to digest it so that I could see each piece of information through both lens wherever possible. And I do feel like I came out on the other side having learned a thing or two from my class.

But did I feel that what I consumed was truth?

No.

Not even when I was seeing it from the other side. 

What does it mean if she and I are presented with the same material, and she feels truth while I do not? Is one of us wrong and one of us right? Does that mean my exercise in seeing from the other side was a failure? Or are there simply some subjective truths on the table here?

My brain is working through the conundrum presented by one person feeling "the truth" where another person does not. Is "the truth" objective or subjective? Can it be both? If so, is it always both? Are there some subjective and some objective truths? Probably, but is that still true when I add "the" before "truth"??

"The truth has a feeling to it."

I'd love to hear what anyone out there thinks about this topic. I will leave you with one final saying, which I learned from a talk I watched a few nights ago. It's Yiddish (brilliantly and perfectly so, I might add), and it goes like this:

"To a worm in sauerkraut, the world is sauerkraut."

And if sauerkraut is your truth, then who am I to convince you otherwise?

From the draft archives: A prophetic blip

Ya know what I'm learning lately? 
:: People are really amazing.
:: I can do hard things (such as math, etc.).
:: And sometimes, a day off of all the things you should do is a recipe for perfection.


--------------
The above is the extent of a draft from 9/27/2012 that was lurking in the very bottom of my unfinished and unpublished blog posts. It's a little weird back there (I mean, I was 19), but this one struck me as apropos for current events: I am amazed at people now more than ever before, I am still learning difficult math and doing other hard things, and I am reminded that these days off of all the things I should be doing outside of my home are a sort of gift.

Wanna see some pictures of what was happening around this time of my life??

Swiss Days 2012

Family reunion!

The first concert I didn't play in? I think?? *single tear*

Taking pics up the mountain to send to the missionary I'd later marry.

And I have no way of knowing for sure if the following GIF was created during the same week of this blog post simply because I took "a day off of all the things I should do," but... I can't prove otherwise, either. Regardless, it's a certain example of "people [being] really amazing," so I include it here.

Sucked IN

Last week, a Facebook friend of mine (not a particularly "real-life" friend, if you know what I mean) posted a link to a recorded FB live that looked interesting.

When I say interesting, I mean it was definitely full of conspiracy theories.

I am not usually one for engaging in the world of conspiracies because ain't nobody got time for that! But this one tugged at me for some reason, and I did partake.

Hoooooooooo-boy! It was a doozy. Two worlds of conspiracy theories collided! I got a little lost in the video, but I was super intrigued to hear from some of the video's sources. I have now done two evenings' worth of digging, and I'm pleased to report that the entire thing is bunk.

If anyone wants to hear about any of the following topics from a conspiratorial and then rational standpoint, I gotchu:

   :: Bill Gates
   :: vaccines
   :: COVID vaccine specifically
   :: virology
   :: human trafficking
   :: and Trump's plan to stop it
   :: Hillary Clinton's involvement with human trafficking
   :: Marina Abramovic
   :: and her spirit cooking
   :: Tom Hanks' involvement with the above
   :: Madonna's involvement with the above
   :: Jeffrey Epstein's involvement with all of it
   :: and why he didn't kill himself
   :: ITNJ?? (ooooo this part was great)
   :: the mark of the beast
   :: ID2020 + Agenda 2030

Here are the parts I'm still a liiiiiiittle fuzzy on:

   :: 5G
   :: Out of Shadows (I refuse to watch this)
   :: labs in China
   :: Should the WHO be in trouble?

I'm refusing on principle to link to ANY of this (don't give this lady any more views than she already has), but if you wanna hear it from the source, just holler. You are in for a delightfully strange little ride if you have a couple spare hours.

It's like a new house!

Today we got some art on the walls in one room and rearranged all of the furniture in a different room of our house. 

I went through a big old box of old school papers and kept only the best. I have another box to do tomorrow.

Last week I took every single thing off of our counters and wiped down and rearranged the whole kitchen.

The week before that we cleared and tilled the weediest parts of our yard. And then this week we got some help breaking up and clearing out a patio in the back corner.

Almost forgot this one cuz it was so long ago: we also cleared out the old shed behind our car port that we have literally never cleaned even one tiny bit and it was full of crap from the last two owners and approximately seven billion dead box elder bugs and now it's cleeeeeeean.

Joseph got rid of one small table in his studio and is currently shifting all of his gear and drum set so that they can all breathe better.

I am dying to clear out my closet but haven't had time for it yet. 


And I attribute the fact that any and all of this happened to COVID. 

We're lucky to be able to say this, but: I guess quarantine's not all bad.

Current favorites

Favorite food in our fridge: homemade applesauce

Favorite natural disaster: NOT earthquakes

Favorite hair length: probably where it's at

Favorite thing Brooks does right now: this "where is it" sound and shrug combo

Favorite Harry Potter book: historically #6, but I'm open to change on this round of reading

Favorite conspiracy theory: Jeffrey Epstein knew about COVID-19

Favorite article of clothing: army green pants with zip pockets

Favorite vacation that I can't go on right now: San Francisco

Favorite room of our house instead: bedroom (kitchen during naptime)

Favorite plant in my house: Christmas cactus

Favorite Marvel movie: Ragnarok

Favorite student: wait I can't answer that

Fine, favorite teacher moment this week: watching a friendship bud on the discussion boards

Favorite bedtime book: Chicka Chicka Boom Boom (I almost have it memorized)

Favorite brand of toilet paper: Kirkland Signature

Favorite baby girl name: Kate

Favorite use of my time this week: framing art that has been sitting around for...years...

Favorite person I've never met: Jesus

Favorite school subject: uh, math?

Favorite question from this list: conspiracy theory, but I started the list to show the Brooks vid. Now you know.

Little Women: A Brief Essay

How do I summarize what Little Women made me think and feel upon watching it last night?

I'm not sure I'm capable of it.

But I can at least share with confidence that there is power in the stories of women and, as discussed in the film, importance bestowed upon them in the very telling of them.

This particular telling valued women's stories in many ways, but here is perhaps my favorite: almost every part of the script was taken from the writings of Louisa May Alcott, and the film tells both the stories of the Little Women and the stories of Louisa herself.

Alcott wrote in a time and place where her first works demanded a pseudonym, which offers insight to the general acceptance of female written works at the time. Thus, although Little Women was an instant success and clearly remains a success today, there was no guarantee for Alcott that her writing would be taken seriously, much less celebrated. How could she have known that her book would someday become all of what it has become?

To see her words--not just her successful book, but her notes and letters and journals--portrayed on screen in a popular and meaningful film gives heft to them. It says that her words and her thoughts and her experiences are important. They were important when she lived! They are still important now.

The experiences and stories of women throughout history and across the world are important, even if they are not what have been more commonly told.

In the end, the more female stories we share, the more female characters (alive and non-fictional) we empower. Making room in the records we are now writing for women's experiences is an important job. And I appreciate the way Little Women modeled it.

Blast from the past

Here's what you need to know: I had a wicked cool tech teacher in elementary school, and he had every student build their own website in fifth and sixth grade. And I really mean build it, like from the ground up, with raw HTML coding.

Anyway, here's mine from sixth grade. It's obviously a Phantom of the Opera fan page. (I'm crying.)

If you wanna see my fifth grade one, click the link on my sixth grade one. Fifth grade def wasn't as well-thought-out. I do remember including an Easter egg. I do not remember what the devil it was.

Elementary school memories, man. Mortifying and beautiful, all at once.


If you or someone you know went to elementary school with me, and you want to stalk other old elementary kids' web pages, click here.

Mrs. Facer moves online

Today was my first day as an online teacher.

Okay, that's not entirely true. My classes moved online due to COVID-19 more than a month ago, and I've been involved with their facilitation since then.

But I've also had two (TWO!) student teachers helping along the way. And they have been amazing and self-sufficient problem solvers who have allowed me to work mostly in the background, tracking down non-responsive students and handling any particularly sensitive emails.

All three of us have been working nearly full-time hours (I say "nearly" only because it's quite difficult for anyone to work actual full-time hours from home) to make this classroom run smoothly online. And now that workload for three has been reduced....to just me.

I really cannot complain for even one second because I have considered myself the luckiest teacher in the world to have such competent and significant help during the switch from regular to online ed. 

But man, today was...kind of long. I have some time prioritizing to do in the very near future.

And now that I know fairly positively that I won't get to see my students in person again, I just gotta say: May 22 cannot come soon enough.



Unrelated: wanna see my toddler be excited about a haircut from Grandpa?

Little Women: Short Post

Watched Little Women tonight. Loved it, obviously. Came out of it with an accidental essay brewing in my head that I'll maybe work on in the next few days.

But for tonight, let me just say that Jo's tears over her hair talked me riiiiiiiiight out of my harebrained idea to maybe ask my father-in-law for a trim tomorrow. (No offense, Gary.)

Have you ever cried over a haircut? I have cried over at least one haircut...maybe more.

Now, thanks to Little Women (and a little bit to COVID), I will not be cutting my hair anytime soon.

Thanks, Jo.

COVID life norms

Tonight I went to the grocery store to get Dot's pretzels and BandAids and milk. And a Redbox. You know, just the essentials.

Okay fine, only the BandAids were essential. But since I was there for the BandAids.........

Anyway, do you know how long it's been since I just ran to the store for a few things?? 

It felt foreign.

And I was the only one in the store without a mask, I think.  (I need to find/make/rig up/buy a mask soon.)

And the aisles are now "one-way only."

But most of the shelves were stocked! (Not all of them.)

And I had to wait for the self check-out to be sanitized before I was allowed to step forward.

But get this: by the time I got to the Redbox machine (we're watching Little Women during naptime tomorrow), I was already accustomed to all of it + grateful for the changes + wondering if someone lives inside the Redbox machine to sanitize those for me as well.

I'd almost believe that somebody does.

Origami around the world

One happy result of COVID-19 for me has been finding the motivation to reach out to people I love in ways I normally would never use (or use but very infrequently). A perfect example of this is the Zoom meeting I'm about to join called "Origami Around the World Part II."

The back story: When my mom was in high school (maybe college?), my grandparents had a couple foreign exchange students come to stay with them. My mom came to see Yuki and Shirley as practically sisters, and our families have stayed in touch through the passing years.

A few years ago, Joe and I joined other members of my family to meet up with Yuki and Shirley in Japan for a couple weeks. It was an incredible trip made all the sweeter by truly familial levels of bonding and caring and sharing and loving. I made unforgettable friendships on that trip.

And now, during COVID, I'm suddenly finding time to strengthen those friendships. It's not easy when you live many time zones apart, but the world suddenly slowing down felt like a wide open door to figuring out those time zones. And the magic of technology has reminded me that many people figure out time zones on a regular basis and it's NBD.

So now, we do origami! All together! From Utah, Japan, and Canada! I can't wait for tonight's session.

I'm scheduled to get on in 15 minutes and I gotta grab snacks (duh) and origami paper (double duh), so off I go. But I'll come back when I'm done and post a pic! 

Not getting a Ph.D.

I had a really excellent English teacher in high school who told me at senior honors night that he expected me to "join the two percent of people in the world who have a Ph.D." At the time, I nodded and told him I was flattered and ran off. I didn't actually want a Ph.D, nope, not even a little bit. (My adult self realizes he maybe said that to more than 2% of his students. But still.)

Cuz here's the thing: I was chock full of ambition as a high schooler, but it was because I thought I had to be. To earn a BYU scholarship felt like a lofty goal, and by senior honors night, I had made the cut. I didn't need to continue with lofty academic goals! My English teacher just didn't get it.

That's not the attitude of a future Ph.D. candidate.

And truly, I slowed waaaay down at BYU, taking lots of fun classes and only doing the bare minimum for graduation in my major. I built my love for learning instead of drowning myself in marketable skills, and I'm glad about it all the time. 

But clearly, I was not on the strait and narrow to a Ph.D.

I also chose a major that felt from the day I declared it like it would be a temporary field of work. A large part of that feeling stemmed from my assumption that I would (of course) get married, have kids, and stay home (in that order). Growing up, I felt quite a lot of social pressure to fit this mold, even though my private dreams were somewhat more corporate in nature. Choosing a major that I liked, but wasn't in love with, ensured that I wouldn't be too sad to step away and become full-time parent after a few years. 

Full-time parents don't tend to head back to school to earn their Ph.D. (At least, not until the kids fly the nest.)

But whaddaya know, now my circumstances have me pursuing full-time employment instead of full-time parenting! I truly never knew before having children whether I would want to stay home with them or soon be dying to get out and go to work. While I think I could find joy in either option, I'm happy to go to work each day, and Joe is happy to stay home each day. It's a good fit for both of us.

So anyway, what did I think of this week when I saw my old English teacher's name in passing? 

Oh yeah, I'm supposed to get me a Ph.D.

Now, don't get excited. I'm still not planning to chase down a Ph.D. anytime soon (despite finally wanting one HA), but I am doing an ambitious career swerve, and I'm excited about it. My teaching years have been lighthearted and fun, but my current job won't support my family or my personal growth in years to come, and I know that. I knew that when I signed up for this job; I just didn't think it would be a relevant issue needing quick resolution after just five years of teaching!

So off I go into the terrifying world of resumes and interviews and desk jobs. It won't take me toward a Ph.D., but it will take me through probably ten years of studying and testing and studying and testing and studying and testing and.... And finally, when I reach the top rung of actuary science careers, maybe I'll look into earning my Ph.D. 

And it'll probably be in, like, botany.

(I'll make sure to tell my teacher I made it.)

Our accidental pet

Surprise! This year's random adopted wildlife is: a squirrel!

We always manage to accidentally allow animals to choose our yard as their home during spring and summer. I dunno why? I hate animals (truly, there I said it), so I feel like they could not possibly find a less hospitable place. Yet here they are, every year...

In past summers, we have unwillingly housed:
   :: snakes (not that strange)
   :: birds (also not strange, but I swear they congregate here)
   :: chickens (turned out to be the neighbor's, followed me all around all the time, hilarious but also go away)
   :: so many cats (ugh)
   :: rabbits! (best one by far) (no idea where they came from)
   :: and now a squirrel (WHY)

If anyone wants to come and claim this squirrel as their new accidental pet, be my guest. You can find him/her in the wood pile.

Also. Very important. This reminds me of my favorite squirrel video, which is not appropriate for all audiences (language), but is one of the original true internet video gems. Enjoy.

My smelly old car

I sifted through my unfinished blog post drafts to find some inspiration tonight. Came across this hilarious story, which I now must finish and share. Enjoy.

(Enter: 2012 Alyssa)

I have had a serious debate with myself about putting this on the blog, but I think I can handle the embarrassment. You are allowed to laugh; you are not allowed to judge (hehe).

Once upon a time, I went to a Women's Chorus activity up the canyon (the Passover one).

Once upon a later time (two and half weeks or so), my car started to stink in a vague sort of way. I couldn't figure out why, and it really wasn't too smelly, especially if I drove with the windows down (which is such a treat once spring starts), so I opted to just figure it out whenever I cleaned out my car in the nearish future. 

I continued to drive despite the vague smell for another...week or so? Two weeks? And it didn't seem to get that much stronger until right at the end of that time, which lined up nicely with the spring weather suddenly taking a warm turn. Since it didn't get worse, I felt no incentive to figure it out. Big ol' shrug.

Then, on a Saturday, my dad stole off with my car in the afternoon to gas it up. (2020 Alyssa here: he did this ALL THE TIME when I was in college, and it warmed my poor little college student heart.) He had Mom with him, and they were apparently quite bothered by the smell I'd been slowly learning to ignore. I assume it was much worse for them since they probably didn't know instinctively (as did I) to roll down the windows...

Soon, I received a text: "Why do you have a trash bag of rotting food in your trunk?"

My first reaction was pure confusion. Why DID I have a trash bag of rotting food in my trunk? Who dared to put that there??

But almost concurrently with that thought came this feeling:
And I remembered in a big ol' jiffy exactly where that bag of rotting food had come from. 

I had put it there.
After the Women's Chorus dinner.
A MONTH AGO.
And I hadn't thought about it since.

If you need to know why the heck I did that: Because there is no trash service up the canyon, every carpool driver took a bag of trash with them back down the mountain. Twas my civic duty! Which I promptly forgot about once I was home.

FOR A MONTH.

Anyway, my car smelled waayyyy better once Mom and Dad threw out the bag of rotting food in the gas station dumpster. Weird. (Big ol shrug.)



(2020 Alyssa now)

So that's how I learned that it is mortifying to have your parents clean out your stinky car trash for you when you are a grown adult who should know better. Bless their dang hearts for sleuthing around. I have no idea how long I would have let that smell float around...and I intend to never again come close to finding out. THE END.

The words of Brooks

Brooks has been trying out new words and signs like a champ the last few days. He regularly and often says:

:: names for seven(ish) family members

:: sounds for who-knows-how-many animals, including two different sounds for a dog

:: apple, banana, blueberry

:: train (really it's choo choo that he's saying)

:: "bath night!"

:: blue, green

:: please

:: "boom boom" but only in the context of "chicka chicka"

And he signs:

:: all done, more

:: "I love this" (mostly just a snuggle)

:: airplane, helicopter

:: drums, guitar

:: thank you

:: water

Obviously he's brilliant! I fully expect him to be reading by the age of three. Or at least to be saying more words by then.

His latest hobbies include pushing around all the chairs in the kitchen and practicing drinking from a cup on his own (or just taking the cup and dumping the water wherever in the house he feels so inclined to do so).

Here is a picture of him from last Thursday when he sneaked a little treat off of the counter and was proud of it:

WARNING: This post contains mild gore.

Tonight I sliced my finger pretty good while chopping bell peppers for dinner.

I FaceTimed my RN mom to get her opinion on whether it might need stitches or other urgent care. She very quickly offered to just head down to my house (15 minute drive) and check it out in person, real quick. "I'll leave right now!"

I felt reassured to know she was coming...and unnerved to see how speedily she felt to do so. If you have a nurse mom, you know: it's gotta be fairly bad before we head to the doctor 'round here. She texted her doctor friend on her way down. 

When she arrived, she snapped a pic for the doctor friend and cleaned up as if for surgery. I think that was more COVID-related than anything else, but still...it wasn't looking promising. She took a little peek and asked if I'd let her move it around a bit. Everyone else in the room looked away.

But good news! It didn't wanna move much, if at all. My finger was--for the most part--still just one chunk of flesh (as opposed to two). My nail had done its bone-y job and protected my fleshy thumb. Doctor friend agreed. No stitches for this girl!

Wanna see a pic? It's a little gross but not that bad.

I've already spoken of discomfort and Jesus and his infinite understanding of it on here this week, but I'll just say that I'm going through that same repetitive thought process again tonight. As a reminder, it goes like this: My finger hurts, poor me! Oh wait, Jesus knows this exact pain. Jesus knows far worse pain. This can't be that bad. I'm so glad to know about Jesus. (...5 minutes pass...) Ouch, my finger hurts, poor me! Rinse and repeat.

Seeing as it is now Easter Sunday, I choose to add a different mantra to this cycle. While "this can't be that bad" helped me to remember Christ's suffering on Good Friday, it isn't a particularly productive way of embracing the end result of that suffering. Christ's end game was not simply to know suffering, but to overcome suffering. He understands my pain--for which I am grateful!--but he loves to heal it as well.

So when I suddenly feel my finger again?

My finger hurts, poor me!

But Jesus knows this exact pain.

Jesus knows all pain.

Jesus heals all pain.

I am so, so glad to know about Jesus.

Currently

Making : chocolate chip cookies

Drinking : water (I'm so boring)

Reading : Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

Wanting : new shoes

Playing : in the dirt

Deciding : where to put all my plants!

Wearing : shorts for the first time in two years???

Wishing : I could spend Easter Sunday with my family

Enjoying : good weather

Considering : Bountiful Baskets? Some other Provo CSA?

Watching : Joseph do yard work every day

Hoping : I improve my practice test scores quickly

Needing : toilet paper (JK)

Following : Scott Bond's COVID updates regarding Utah's numbers

Noticing : Brooks learns signs faster than words

Loving : my quarantine people

Admiring : anyone in the health care industry

Buying : groceries for two weeks at a time

Feeling : optimistic

Why I fast (as of today)

Today I joined a worldwide concerted effort to fast and pray for COVID-19 relief. Normally, Fridays are more "weekend" than "worship" for me. It felt special to do this fast on Good Friday specifically, and I was grateful to have been worshiping on this day. 

I thought a few times today of my hunger and thirst, checking the clock and counting down til dinnertime. But each time I had that thought, I immediately remembered the Friday suffering of Jesus as he was betrayed and crucified. My own affliction seemed absurd in light of that, and I backed quickly away from my self-pity.

This is, I think, the whole point of fasting. It has often been lost on me, despite fasting monthly-ish since the age of 8. I can remember a few very significant fasts wherein I desperately needed an answer or a blessing or a gift from God, and in God's way I have always received what was requested and therefore been grateful to have sacrificed. But while these experiences have built my belief in the power of fasting, they have not greatly connected my fasting to my Savior.

Today's fast had a clear, pre-defined purpose given by President Nelson last weekend. I knew exactly the words to say each time I prayed, and while I felt the importance of worldwide combined efforts to a critical end, my personal stake in the matter was...low. It's a blessing that I can afford to say that. I know it.

So I think it was the combination of "this purpose is important" and "this purpose is beyond me," combined with the history of Good Friday (traditionally a day of fasting), that really opened my heart to Jesus today. I don't claim to know that this fast will have an impact on the effects of COVID-19 as it sweeps across the world. That is beyond my own study and practice of fasting thus far in my life. (Perhaps after this, I will add "fasting en masse is significant because..." to my testimony. Who's to say?) However, regardless of anything that happens (or doesn't) as a result of this worldwide fast, my own connection to Christ was strengthened.

And now I know: that's the whole point of fasting.

G.N.O.

Tonight I chose Zoom GNO (Girls' Night Out, of course) over drafting a longer blog post than this. It was a good life choice. Here are most of my GNO people:

And I love them.

When "having peaked" is a good thing

I am jazzed tonight because someone I consider to be a reliable enough source to believe (just...trust me) wrote, "I think there is solid evidence that Utah has peaked in the number of new cases."

THAT IS HUGE AND GOOD NEWS.

It's also not guaranteed, by any means. But a few things had me motor-mouthing happily to Joseph over dinner because of this. 

First, it means this pandemic is affecting Utah in a relatively minor way. Even if we haven't peaked, the idea that we could be close still means Utah might come out of this with much better results than many other places. I won't say "unscathed" because, well, we're not. Nobody will come out of this unscathed. But for Utah, this pandemic is still recoverable in many ways. 

Second, it means that the leadership of Utah haven't been just sitting on their hands regarding state lockdown. It means they did what they needed to do when they needed to do it (which was to begin closing down social gatherings relatively earlier than most other places chose to do so), and the effects of that are now being seen. It means that they are watching and using data to inform their choices, acting rather than being acted upon. They know what they are doing! At least, as much as anyone does. *shrug, but happily*

Third, it means that the social distancing guidelines issued for us to last through April 13 could begin (KEY WORD) to be lifted as early as, in fact, April 13! I don't actually think much will happen that day to lift restrictions, but it's not completely ruled out, and a girl can hope.

Finally, it just means the potential beginning of the end of one of the hardest/weirdest periods of rememberable history. This is gonna end eventually. And a peaked curve is the light at the end of this insufferable tunnel.

It's 10:00 and I promised myself to be done by now, so I'm signing off. If you're here, will you comment? Tell me your favorite or least favorite part of quarantine so far. I'll probably post about this project on my Instagram eventually, but...I'm a lil curious whether anyone's still around from my regular blogging days. Anyone out there? Anyone?

#100daysofbloggingoverscrolling

Hehe that hashtag sure rolls right off the tongue, eh?

Have you ever heard of #the100dayproject? I've heard of it. It starts today, and while I was washing a couple dinner dishes, I thought to myself, "Heck, maybe I'll try that."

I don't know if I will enjoy it, but I have "write!" as a goal on my 2020 list, so here I am, trying it.

My 100 day project is this: Starting today and for 100 days straight, I will replace some of my scrolling time with blogging time. I will do so proportionately, i.e., the amount I blog should reduce the amount I scroll. 

MY RULES:

1)  I only *have* to write one sentence. I can write more. (Duh.)

2)  I only get a maximum of 1 hour on social media for each day of this project, even if my blog post is tiny. Screen time limits will enforce this for me.

3)  This does not replace my regular journaling. I'm sure you don't care, but I know this is a risk factor for me.

4)  I am allowed to change my project or stop my project. I know myself well enough to know that I am unlikely to just slide into accidentally stopping, but I want to be clear with myself that I am allowed to decide to stop at any time and for any reason.

See you back here tomorrow.