Why I fast (as of today)

Today I joined a worldwide concerted effort to fast and pray for COVID-19 relief. Normally, Fridays are more "weekend" than "worship" for me. It felt special to do this fast on Good Friday specifically, and I was grateful to have been worshiping on this day. 

I thought a few times today of my hunger and thirst, checking the clock and counting down til dinnertime. But each time I had that thought, I immediately remembered the Friday suffering of Jesus as he was betrayed and crucified. My own affliction seemed absurd in light of that, and I backed quickly away from my self-pity.

This is, I think, the whole point of fasting. It has often been lost on me, despite fasting monthly-ish since the age of 8. I can remember a few very significant fasts wherein I desperately needed an answer or a blessing or a gift from God, and in God's way I have always received what was requested and therefore been grateful to have sacrificed. But while these experiences have built my belief in the power of fasting, they have not greatly connected my fasting to my Savior.

Today's fast had a clear, pre-defined purpose given by President Nelson last weekend. I knew exactly the words to say each time I prayed, and while I felt the importance of worldwide combined efforts to a critical end, my personal stake in the matter was...low. It's a blessing that I can afford to say that. I know it.

So I think it was the combination of "this purpose is important" and "this purpose is beyond me," combined with the history of Good Friday (traditionally a day of fasting), that really opened my heart to Jesus today. I don't claim to know that this fast will have an impact on the effects of COVID-19 as it sweeps across the world. That is beyond my own study and practice of fasting thus far in my life. (Perhaps after this, I will add "fasting en masse is significant because..." to my testimony. Who's to say?) However, regardless of anything that happens (or doesn't) as a result of this worldwide fast, my own connection to Christ was strengthened.

And now I know: that's the whole point of fasting.