Not getting a Ph.D.

I had a really excellent English teacher in high school who told me at senior honors night that he expected me to "join the two percent of people in the world who have a Ph.D." At the time, I nodded and told him I was flattered and ran off. I didn't actually want a Ph.D, nope, not even a little bit. (My adult self realizes he maybe said that to more than 2% of his students. But still.)

Cuz here's the thing: I was chock full of ambition as a high schooler, but it was because I thought I had to be. To earn a BYU scholarship felt like a lofty goal, and by senior honors night, I had made the cut. I didn't need to continue with lofty academic goals! My English teacher just didn't get it.

That's not the attitude of a future Ph.D. candidate.

And truly, I slowed waaaay down at BYU, taking lots of fun classes and only doing the bare minimum for graduation in my major. I built my love for learning instead of drowning myself in marketable skills, and I'm glad about it all the time. 

But clearly, I was not on the strait and narrow to a Ph.D.

I also chose a major that felt from the day I declared it like it would be a temporary field of work. A large part of that feeling stemmed from my assumption that I would (of course) get married, have kids, and stay home (in that order). Growing up, I felt quite a lot of social pressure to fit this mold, even though my private dreams were somewhat more corporate in nature. Choosing a major that I liked, but wasn't in love with, ensured that I wouldn't be too sad to step away and become full-time parent after a few years. 

Full-time parents don't tend to head back to school to earn their Ph.D. (At least, not until the kids fly the nest.)

But whaddaya know, now my circumstances have me pursuing full-time employment instead of full-time parenting! I truly never knew before having children whether I would want to stay home with them or soon be dying to get out and go to work. While I think I could find joy in either option, I'm happy to go to work each day, and Joe is happy to stay home each day. It's a good fit for both of us.

So anyway, what did I think of this week when I saw my old English teacher's name in passing? 

Oh yeah, I'm supposed to get me a Ph.D.

Now, don't get excited. I'm still not planning to chase down a Ph.D. anytime soon (despite finally wanting one HA), but I am doing an ambitious career swerve, and I'm excited about it. My teaching years have been lighthearted and fun, but my current job won't support my family or my personal growth in years to come, and I know that. I knew that when I signed up for this job; I just didn't think it would be a relevant issue needing quick resolution after just five years of teaching!

So off I go into the terrifying world of resumes and interviews and desk jobs. It won't take me toward a Ph.D., but it will take me through probably ten years of studying and testing and studying and testing and studying and testing and.... And finally, when I reach the top rung of actuary science careers, maybe I'll look into earning my Ph.D. 

And it'll probably be in, like, botany.

(I'll make sure to tell my teacher I made it.)